I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
