yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
