Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
