Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
