So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
