We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
