she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
