Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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