No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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