Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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