There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
