She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
