The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
