Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
