i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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