brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
