New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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