What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
