When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
