so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
cat food counts as protein by the way
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
