she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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