I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just had sex bonerless
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
