'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
