my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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