literally had 100 drinks last night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
