The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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