just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
