I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
