Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
