i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
