I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
