I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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