Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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