I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
