The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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