just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
