My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
