I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
nutella sex= disaster
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
