her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
NoShamevember. You game?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
