Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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