my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
