Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
