We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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