You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
