I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
