from now on my penis is your penis
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
