We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
