If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
