THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
