I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
