3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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