just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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